PAUL AND ANITA OKOYE: WHEN TWO EX-LOVERS MEET WHAT GOES ON ON THEIR MINDS
When two ex-lovers meet, what goes on in their minds? For two people who became exes after a failed relationship, it's understandable - but those bound with kids, gosh!
Paul and Anita Okoye used to look into each other's eyes and assure each other of unending love and togetherness. Not so long before their split, Paul Okoye posted her picture on her birthday and went down memory lane to tell us of how she "reasoned with him", so it's okay to say that she inspired his "Reason with Me" song. So what happened? What went wrong that a relationship that was built on such a foundation of love, understanding, and bearing each other's burden failed after three kids? Did they fall out of love with each other? Did they both find someone better? Did they lose the onions and ingredients that gave them needs for each other?
One of the things I could figure out to be the most cause of divorce in our generation is what I call the "Know too much factor".
This generation knows way too much more than necessary. It was exposure that made Adam and Eve lose the goodness of the Garden of Eden to a life of intense hardship. Too much knowledge can be detrimental.
Believe it or not, Paul Okoye and Anita still feel something (love) for each other. They don't feel hostility toward each other otherwise, co-parenting won't be this easy and beautiful for them. So why did they leave their marriage?
Couples divorce even while in love with each other because love is never enough.
In a generation where we feel that affection towards people is enough to substitute respect for them.
In an era where men are taught to be tøxxlcc males in the name of "Alpha Male", and wvvmén to be rebellious wives in the name of feminism; people leave marriage before realizing that they have been swayed wrongly.
In a generation where mén and wvménn are taught to be intolerant of each other, people leave good relationships before realizing that one actually needs tolerance to stay in any relationship.
In an era where we are not contented with one person, we leave before realizing that not even the millions outside satisfy unless we decide on our own to be satisfied with one.
If the love is there, don't be in a hurry to leave. Talk about everything. Share your worries and concerns. Listen, make amendments, and keep going. Because I don't think anything is as hurtful as realizing that you love your ex and all you needed was a little patience, understanding, endurance, and of course, EMPATHY. But then again, we know too much to be contented, there are many fishes in the ocean. We know too much than to endure, marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured. We know too much to be accountable - we owe no one anything.
If there is no domestic vloIencé or deep emotional abuse, I advise separation and not divorce. You can always find a way around the issues and easily get back when separated, but divorced? Oops!
Eshi Ayo
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