C O U N S E L I N G
VIRTUAL ADULTERY AND INTERNET UNFAITHFULNESS
This is one topic that as a counselor I regularly meet while handling relationship issues with people and I think it’s time i address it publicly.
A lot of people In relationships and even married couples actually cheat on their partners via the internet through the different chats and conversations that they hold with the opposite sex. They often deceive themselves that since nothing physical has ever happened between them and that person, then they have not cheated. But listen, some kinds of chats are also examples of unfaithfulness to your partner. Let me explain in power points:
1. Any chat that you hold with anyone else that you must hide from your partner, not because you are protecting someone’s secrets but because the content will raise suspicion, is an indication that you have become entangled with someone else.
2. Chats that involve explicit and sexual requests, compliments and suggestions between you and another person other than your partner is wrong and an example of unfaithfulness. Why should you be complimenting the breasts of another woman in a chat, or tell a guy how just thinking about him makes you wet. Then you say, it’s just innocent conversations? Are you okay? Is he July rain that he’s making you wet? Seriously? 🙄
3. Yes, I know that sometimes, it’s not even you that starts some of these conversations, sometimes total strangers just come into your space and start them. But it’s your own responses to their unwarranted liberties that tells us who you yourself are. So someone comes to your inbox and says: “Hello sweetheart, your beauty keeps me awake always”. Then you too sends a shin shin, sime sime smile icon (sheepish smile emoji) and say awww, thank you so much! With an emoji to accompany it.
Tell me, what is the color of the problem of both of you. Even as a single person with no one in your life, if a total stranger comes to you and says that immediately, you should know he or she is irresponsible and lacks values. You are as much a culprit of whatever you encourage as the initial perpetrator.
4. I know that some of us like me naturally use endearments for people, but be careful how you use it in a chat for the opposite sex. You can’t be sending kisses, love, embrace emojis to a particular opposite sex all the time, along with some deep conversations and emotional revelations and you say things are not getting out of hand? If they have not, they may eventually. You are not supposed to be using the head of a snake to scratch the nose. Some dead snakes still have venom in their fangs please.
5. The moment there’s a particular person other than your partner that you spend a greater part of your time chatting with, you wake up in the middle of the night and go to the sitting room to chat with. And the content of the chat is not pure official that we cannot read, My bro, my sis, fire is coming to the mountain. And for those of us who say that we are mentoring and counseling. And all your protégés and clients are always the opposite sex and your conversations with them is not about their issues but about how much you miss each other, ehhh, e dey for your body. Remember I’m a counselor too and a mentor. You can’t deceive me o. I know the codes of our ministry. Cut off those so called protégés and link them with another same sex mentor.
6. Finally, any chat or conversations that you regularly have with the opposite sex, that if you see something similar between your own spouse and another person, you will frown at it, is equally wrong for you to do or be involved in.
HOW TO AVOID IT
Now I will be frank enough to say that sometimes, some of us find ourselves entangled in some of these virtual relationships without planning to from beginning. So in order to shield yourself. Take note of these points:
1. Avoid making or encouraging too much communication with the opposite sex online around the times when you and your spouse or partner are having issues or problems between you both. Your vulnerability in such times makes you to naturally want to seek comfort and connection or pleasure outside. Avoid it.
2. Never allow issues between you and your partner to linger and fester, making the two of you to starve each other emotionally or sexually (for married). Address them on time, seek professional help if you think you can’t handle it alone. Often, it’s issues at home that predisposes some of us to this things, it’s not an excuse but that’s just the truth and it can be avoided.
3. Always set boundaries in all your relationships with anyone, do not compromise those boundaries at anytime, or tolerate them being compromised. Be quick to correct anyone in your private space that is putting up actions not in line with the purpose and definition of your relationship with them. Never ever allow undefined relationships in your life. Undefined relationships are like the Amoeba, they are shapeless and just like the Amoeba is known to eat human brains, undefined relationships takes away your reasoning and intelligence.
In all, stop cheating on your partners and spouses with your phone and internet and be saying “why is she too or he too checking my phone”. The reason why your partner or spouse shouldn’t be checking your phones is because they should respect your privacy, not because of the fear of what will be revealed. Privacy is not supposed to be the cloak to cover indecency. So please let’s watch it.
TUSKY.
Comments
Post a Comment