Counselling And Therapy With Linda Zannaffe Omoluabi
ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES FOR MARRIAGE/ RELATIONSHIP PARTNERS
Take time out to calm yourself enough to think about what you are angry about.
Own your anger. Remind yourself that your anger belongs to you and that it is telling you something about yourself. Anger is often directed at your partner, but it’s always more about you than about your partner. You can have valid complaints about your partner’s actions, but the emotion is yours.
If the anger is your own, then it follows that you are in control. Accept that you are in control. Your next step is to think about what your anger is about. Again, try to focus on yourself, not your partner’s wrongdoing. I’m not saying that your partner is right. I am saying that you need to focus on yourself so you can express yourself to your partner, allowing you to work together to find solutions.
See your thoughts and emotions as your perspective, and at the same time try to keep in mind that your partner has his or her own perspective that will always be different from yours—after all, you are two different people with different experiences. Thinking like this will help you stay calm through the process of dealing with your emotions.
What are your angry thoughts? Try to follow your thoughts to get a full picture. It may help to write down what, exactly, happened that led to you feeling angry.
Consider what other emotions are involved. Anger is a secondary emotion that often hides the primary or softer emotions. Examples of primary emotions are feeling sad, afraid , hurt, or
rejected. Anger is often a defense against feeling vulnerable. Vulnerability is often seen as weakness; many of us were brought up to ignore vulnerabilities and push through problems.
Anger can feel like relief as emotional energy is released and vulnerabilities are pushed away from awareness. Being angry at your partner is sometimes easier than facing fear of rejection. However, the consequences of reacting with anger in a relationship can be severe. We know this at work; screaming at colleagues is most likely going to get us fired.
Linda Zannaffe Omoluabi is the Founder/President of Initiative Against Dysfunction in Families, a registered NGO. She is a licensed therapist who was born into a dyfunctional family and has been through a dysfunction marriage and is therefore equipped all-round to help you overcome relationship and marriage issues.
If you have been experiencing unhappy/abusive patterns in your relationship, Ms Linda Zannaffe Omoluabi, can help you effect a disconnect from this pattern so that you go on to experience a more fulfilling relationship or marriage.
Send me an email through againstdysfunction@gmail.com
Connect with me via WhatsApp through the phone number: 08070812497
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